Making memories

Here I am on a Wednesday morning at 3:43. I am over halfway through my second night on a four night stretch! Thankfully I am feeling pretty good...tired but good! It seems like I get more emotional on these shifts! They really make me miss my girls, and they really make me think just how thankful I  for them! I am still watching my eating and working out over the holidays, but I am trying to also enjoy things like baking cookies and enjoying them. I feel like I have gained a little since Thsnksgiving, but my diet has not been that bad so who knows. I'll just keep going and see where I am in January. I was thinking tonight that Christmas is exactly two weeks away and how quickly it will be here. I really want to live in the moment and make some wonderful memories. I was reminiscing tonight of when we used to go Christmas caroling in Hickory! I am planning to bake cookies this week with the girls and hopefully we will go see the lights this weekend!

Back on track!

Got back on track this week after a higher carb week and Halloween! I felt awesome this morning and weighed in at 161.2! I think what made the biggest difference was doing legs and shoulders yesterday afternoon and eating good! I think this was the first time we have been good on a Friday night and I loved it! We made a healthy pizza with oatflour crust and chicken! It was very good and even the girls like it! Then for desert we split one banana with peanut butter and dark chocolate chips! It was delicious! I realized this morning that I could get down to what I weighed in high school which I never thought was possible! We'll see I want to focus more on how I look than what I weigh, and I've definitely got to pack on some mord muscle on this frame! Think I'll take a well deserved break tonight with some homemade Mexican, queso, and cerveca!

Well here I am at work on another Saturday. At least I won't have to do this again until December! It is going to be a gorgeous fall day today, so that kinda stinks. I got back on track last week. It was actually easy, and I feel great. If anything I feel a little leaner! Probably not but at least I feel great. I guess it goes to show you can take a week off from training and eat bad and then get back on track. It can be done! One positive about working all day on Saturday is that I eat good! Now if I could just work out too! I've got two nights next week. I am planning to do at least chest, back and shoulders before they start and then maybe legs next weekend. I think I may have strained something doing legs on Thursday, so it might be better to have a little more rest before hitting them again. Oh how I love my leg day! Also need to research and think about changing up my workout a little. I feel like I've made so much progress, but wonder what I could do if I added and changed things up a bit! Then again I think just keep doing what you are doing and wait until January then you will really make progress...well enough rambling.

I have been thinking about October 15th, which is baby loss day. A few people posted something on the 15th to recognize this day, and I did nothing. I didn't even think to light a candle. I guess you could say that is a good thing in one way. Life has become so "normal" for me that I don't even think about things like that. However I am disappointed in myself. I remember after losing Luke thinking why don't people talk more about losing babies, and I remember thinking that wouldn't be me. I would change things. Umm no that didn't happen. Well next year I hope that I will light a candle and think about my sweet boy.

I kind of feel like I am at a critical point right now! In the past week I can tell I have gained a little and not in a good way! I survived and actually did great over the weekend of Oktoberfest! However this past week has been different. I still feel good and motivated and I am not letting this bring me down! Last Thursday we went to Zac brown. On Friday I had my procedure at Dr. Watters-for some reason this was my downfall last year! They said I could do elliptical but no lifting for a week. I guess that's where the problem came in! The change in my schedule along with no lifting messed me up. Rob and Kim came down on Tuesday...I was doing pretty good eating until then! Well minus the usual weekend. We ate a lot along with zero working out! I did workout once last week-I had a pretty good 30 minute elliptical workout Monday afternoon. Rob and Kim left on Thursday which was depressing then I had to work 9-7 that night. Now I am working 12 hours today on Saturday. While Steve is home with sick girls! The positive for me is that it is easy to eat good today since I'm at work. Since it has been a week I am thinking of working out tonight after the girls go to bed. I am ready to get back on track and prove I can do this even when things get hard. I am excited to get that fitness feeling back and maybe shred a little fat! Definitely ready to pack on some muscle. I know I will do this! I have come too far to slip back in my old habits!

Well my 12 week live fit trainer has now ended! I like to think of it more as a 12 week transformation, since I didn’t actually follow the program. It was a springboard that got me going. I started lifting again and cleaned up my diet. I ended up losing 5 pounds, but I think it was probably closer to 7 to 8 pounds, since I also put on some lean muscle. Things definitely started slowing down towards the end of the 12 weeks, and I actually started increasing my calories and carbs a bit in the last few weeks. It is amazing how things like this mess with your head! I have put on a few pounds in the past two weeks. I can tell that this could be the downfall for me. Maybe in the past it would, and for no other reason than I am not losing weight….my metabolism must be wrecked from all of this low calorie/low carb dieting. Um, my calories were probably around 1700, not that bad! My carbs were a little on the low side, but I think I have fixed that. For example I was eating ¼ of oatmeal along with my eggs for breakfast, and I am now up to 1/3 cup sometimes ½ cup. In addition I did all of this with minimal cardio. In fact the past week or two I did NO cardio! I want to start incorporating some HIIT, but not too much so hopefully it will have a bigger impact on fat loss. I just went back and checked my weights. On 6/11 I was 173.6 (all of these are at work) and on 8/8 (my lowest weight) I was 167.1, so that’s actually a total of 6.5 pounds! I also weighed in on 8/27 at 168.4 and today 9/1 at 169.95. Despite seeing my weight going up and knowing it’s not just muscle I actually feel pretty good. I am very optimistic about everything. I am at a very good weight right now. Of course I want to be super lean, but I have to be realistic and know that I have to look out towards my year goal and see where I am then. I also realize that you can’t continue to lose weight continuously. I have to learn to maintain and the scale will inevitably go up and down. I don’t think it will stay right at the same weight. I have to learn to deal with this, and I also will have to step away from the scale or I will go crazy! Of course weighing in from time to time is good also. Having said this I am going to try to get back to where I was a few weeks ago. I would like to do this with a little higher calorie/carb diet hopefully. Ideally I would like to maintain a weight (first thing in the morning) of 165. If I can do that through the end of December I will be happy! So to be more specific in the next month I am planning to:

1.       Keep weight training the same (would love to add in some Romanian leg lifts)

2.       Add in 1-2 days of HIIT

3.       Eat clean (around 1850 calories per day)

4.       Watch cheat days (these have gotten a little out of hand lately) I have to watch these and make sure I am getting my casein. I specifically need to work on Saturdays since this is the most important day of the week (leg day). May have to cut out cheats on this day altogether!

So we’ll see how it goes. Feeling pretty darn optimistic right now! In fact I KNOW I can do this!

August 21st

I have been in a little of a funk lately. I think it was a combination of a lot of things like getting ready for school, Doug and Steve's mom visiting and then leaving, overthinking things, IIFYM, reverse dieting, etc. on top of that things have really started to slow down, and at this point I don't want to decrease my calories or up my cardio. Right now I am giving myself a much needed little break. (Or at least for the past two days!) today I am getting back on track just trying to increase my calories a bit. I may try the reverse dieting thing, but right now I just don't feel like counting the calories! We'll see how it goes. I have to remind myself I am in a good place right now, so if I am not losing fat but gaining muscle that's ok!

August 9th

Just a quick update....I am still doing great, but I am not really following the Live Fit trainer anymore.  I am actually fine with this since I am looking at a long term goal now instead of just 12 weeks. This is much more a way of life for me now! I had an issue two weeks ago that made me take a week off from lifting. I increased my cardio a little and started lifting again this week. I really missed it and am so happy to be lifting again! I weighed in at work yesterday at 167.1 which is awesome! Despite this I wonder how much more I will have to lose to see the definition I want to see. I try to remind myself I am at a really good place right now. It might not be until next summer until I look good in a thong and that's ok! I also was thinking today that this is like an experiment for me. I can do what I want to and see if it works for me...things like morning cardio or cardio after lifting (which I would try but limit!) also keeping good fat in my diet...I was reading a blog where someone cut out almost all of their fat for a bikini contest. This just doesn't seem right! That's about all for now! Just enjoying the rest of Steve's birthday weekend! I'm sure I'll be ready to get back on track on Monday!

July 16th

 Here's a picture from today! I weighed in today (at work) at 169.4. That was after breakfast with shoes and clothes on! After that I took this picture when I got home and decided a cheat night was in order! More on that later...



July 15th update

Just a quick update...still going strong. I hurt my knee this weekend, so I may be taking this week off from cardio and legs:( We'll see maybe I'll try to do some cardio on Friday or Saturday. I ate cottage cheese pudding last night before bed instead of my apple, peanut butter and shake. Also this is a before and after picture...I've been wanting to do this for awhile!

Eating clean

Just a few of my thoughts on eating clean. I love it more than I ever thought possible! When you eat clean you feel so much better and you enjoy your food so much more. I have found that I absolutely love my food, and when I cheat I enjoy it so much more too! I'm not talking about eating plain chicken, plain brown rice and broccoli cuts. No, I'm talking about eating turkey taco meat with black beans, a little cheese and fresh pico de gallo or chicken quinoa enchilada casserole! There are so many options and they are delish! I also realized the other night (on the 4th) when I felt like I had eaten a bit too much that it had been a while since I had felt so full and gross. As far as cheating goes we cheat a few (about 3) nights a week. I say cheat nights not meals because that is what they are. We eat clean all day then we enjoy ourselves that night. That may consist of a few beers, pizza, chips and salsa and even dessert. I do have to admit that our cheats seem to be getting a little cleaner. For instance I have started making homemade pizza with oat flour and we all like it. Of course it has plenty of cheese on it and pepperoni and the beers are still there! Anyway cheating like this may not work for everyone, but this is working for us right now. Still losing weight and being able to maintain eating clean because we're not depriving ourselves all of the time. Plus I think it keeps our metabolism stoked. I guess the rule of thumb is to be honest with yourself are you still seeing results? Great! If not then maybe you need to change things up a bit. Right now i am very happy with my results and want to continue slowly, so I have changes I can maintain. I never want to be 190 or even 180 again!

4th of July!

Today has been a great day! We had yummy protein pancakes for breakfast, and then I got a great cardio workout in! Mom and I then went shopping at TJ Maxx and Kohls. I got some nice dressy clothes that I love! In fact I got a pair of size 10 slacks that look really good on me! I can really tell that I have lost more weight in just the past few days. My jeans from our honeymoon now fit me!

I just realized that I am now finished with phase one of the Live Fit Trainer! I technically made it through with no cardio...well I did cardio on Tuesday and today, but I was actually done with my lifting on Monday, since I lifted on the weekend. I didn't do my second leg day, since I had a blood vessel burst of something in my leg. I am loving this, and I am so excited to see what kind of shape I can get into! Especially since I don't need to focus quite as much on losing weight right now!

Week 3 update

Today is June 25th and I am halfway through week 3 now! The workouts are similar just 10 reps instead of 12. I am trying to go really heavy. I also added an extra leg day on Sunday which was great! I weighed in this morning at home at 168.8! I'm so happy! Getting close to my 160 goal.

On another note last Tuesday was Kate's last day of speech therapy. I know this is great! She has made so much progress, but also a little bittersweet. We will miss Ms. Kristle.

Live Fit Trainer

Well I am halfway through week 2 of Jamie Eason’ live fit trainer. I am feeling great! The first week was rough with no cardio. I felt like I was making no progress and gaining weight. I took the weekend off and ate what I wanted thinking this would help get my metabolism going again. I think it helped as I have lost another pound since last week. I have decided to fit in a day of cardio this weekend if my legs will allow it LOL! I am trying to vary my calories and carbs this week and it seems to be helping. I had a cheat night last night and I basically ate more just kept it clean. Looking forward to eating what I want this weekend of course within some reason!

4/11/14

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

From: KARIN EDWARDS <KAEDWARDS@wakemed.org>
Date: April 11, 2014 at 2:42:13 PM EDT
To: "kedwards52@yahoo.com" <kedwards52@yahoo.com>
Subject: blog

Finally decided it was time to get serious, and Steve and I have done great this week! We had a cheat meal Wednesday night, but other than that we have been eating very clean. We also have worked out every day except for Wednesday. I think we needed that break! I FEEL SO GOOD! Why have I not been doing this all along, and I had better keep this up. Hopefully if I keep a better journal it will help me stay on track through the tough times! Anyway at the end of week 1 (started Monday and today is Friday) I feel great and super motivated. I plan to work out tonight and eat good. Tomorrow we will probably eat what we want within reason….nothing crazy. I do plan to eat a good breakfast though. One thing I noticed today is that PW’s latest recipe didn’t appeal to me…maybe it was the recipe-Salisbury steak meatballs. Maybe they seemed a little complicated also. I don’t know, but I wonder if along with eating healthy I will go back to easier recipes like chicken enchiladas. This would be a good change for me. I think it would save money and definitely save TIME! All I know is I love this, and I want to keep it up. Time will tell, but I am very confident that we can do this! (By the way I have a feeling that I will still cook my occasional PW recipe…and eating healthy is definitely NOT cheap.) Weigh in will be next Monday or Wednesday….I think I was 178 to start.

Feeling great!

I got back on track today, and I feel great! The only thing I craved tonight was celery and hummas! I also did my first crossfit inspired workout and loved it! Hoping to keep this motivation and lose 10 pounds, which will put me at 170.

Snow Day!

Well after a beautiful, balmy 60 degree Monday we have 3-4 inches of snow today (Wednesday January 29th). The girls got to go out and play in the snow this morning! We had a great time. It was really their first time playing in the snow especially for Kate!

Saturday January 18th

It's a little after 5am and I'm laying here listening to Kate fussing in her sleep. It's hard to believe just a few weeks ago she was climbing out of her crib! She hasn't done done that since Grandma was here. I'm glad we kept her in her crib a little longer. Last night we had our first ever movie night! It went pretty well. We watched part of Peter Pan and ate Popa Johns pizza. The cutest part though was when both girls were sitting on the sofa eating popcorn. They loved it. Kate was so cute too because she kept feeding daddy and I. We are thinking of having a sleepover with Jillian tonight. I guess we'll see!